Chapter Five: Episode 23
Relationship with God
I and Thou relationships are, at their heart, spiritual. Why “spiritual”?
Because the I and Thou encounter has an invisible quality, a something that can’t be objectified or analyzed. Yet this encounter is the most real and important “thing” in our lives and affects us most profoundly.
A relationship with God is just like that! God, by any definition of god, cannot be objectified, described, or analyzed. Yet, despite this “non-objective” status, God is the most important thing in the lives of believers and affects them most profoundly. [1] God is never an “it” to a believer, yet is absolutely real. God can’t be described, yet through this relationship, we learn who we really are, and can more clearly describe ourselves.
Buber emphasized that all our I and Thou relationships – with others, with nature, with our beloved pets -- prepare us for God’s I and Thou. But God is a special Thou in this regard: of all those other Thou’s, God sees us most completely. He sees our strengths, our secrets, our sins. He understands where we’ve come from, how we’ve struggled, and where we could progress.
His own unlimited, eternal spirit beholds us fully, as only a heavenly “father” could. As the Christian apostle Paul wrote: When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God. . .[2]
This is Spirit meeting our spirit.
In God’s gaze we are truly seen and most fully ourselves. The divine Thou brings so much more to the I and Thou than any mere human could. Yet, this divine relationship does not diminish but enriches our other relationships. Because of our relationship with God, we now better know ourselves and bring that wisdom to others.
Your Rational Decision about Relationships and Faith
We’ve considered two very different reasons for a religious map for relationships.
The first was pragmatic. Objective, peer-reviewed research proves that religious faith and practice help sustain marriages and families. Those studies can be supplemented by your own observations. Ask a religious person how they use faith in their relationships. You may be surprised that faith makes them especially thoughtful and intentional about relationships – not robotic rule-followers who fear authority figures. Their attitude toward a spouse or parent is not blind obedience and fear, but mindfulness and resolve, guided by their faith.
The second reason was spiritual. Our most important relationships -- I and Thou relationships-- are spiritual. And an I and Thou relationship with God is the most expansive and empowering of these I and Thou’s. In God’s presence, you’ll experience yourself as completely known and cherished. In God’s gaze, you can face yourself with all your problems and potential, and experience God’s grace. Released from the burdens of your past, you’ll hear Thou calling you forward.
In response to your honest question, “Can’t I have a good marriage and family, without all this God stuff?”, the research shows you’re taking your chances. “Can’t I have meaningful friendships without a relationship with God?” Yes, but in the gaze of God’s Thou, you’ll discover who you really are, and bring that wisdom to your friendships.
The Way Ahead
Religions are committed to binding together families for the sake of something greater -- serving God’s design for their family and their world. Indeed, the original meaning of religion is from the Latin, “bind together.”
There is one more way religion can be a powerful force for binding together. It can bind us to divine strength and wisdom to withstand destructive, human impulses.
That takes us to our sixth “R” – Regulating our impulses.
(To be continued May 26, Chapter Six: Episode 24)
To Eight Trails readers: Does this post suggest a moment you’ve experienced and, perhaps, a photo you took? Share your reflections and photos with me by clicking “reply” to this emailed post. I would be delighted to include them in new posts — of course, crediting you!
[1] As Buber describes it, "I can neither experience nor describe the form which meets me, but only body it forth. . .If test is made of its objectivity, the form is certainly not 'there.' Yet what is actually is so much present as it is. And the relation in which I stand to it is real, for it affects me, as I affect it." Martin Buber, I and Thou, pg 10
[2] Romans 8: 14 - 16